Attack of the Angel
by SnowMoonRising
Summary: Shinji is faced with the difficult choice whether to kill a friend who betrayed him. However, an error in space and time plunges him and the other pilots into a world where Titans roam. The Angel, Kaworu Nagisa, discovers that he can co-exist and fight alongside humanity after all... Chapters labelled "a" indicate a side story or an event occurring concurrently with a main chapter.
1. Prologue: Please Destroy Me

"Therefore, please destroy me."

Kaworu Nagisa's words ring over and over in Shinji Ikari's head as his Eva grasps Kaworu's lean, fragile human body in its fist. _He is an Angel. He is an enemy. Therefore, I must kill him – but! He is human too, just like me. And he was my friend! Even though he betrayed me, even though that hurts, I… I…_

Emergency sirens sound throughout Nerv Headquarters, right down to Terminal Dogma.

"What's happening?" asks Dr Ritsuko Akagi.

"The Human Instrumentality Project… it has been triggered ahead of planned time and… there seems to be an error!" Major Misato Katsuragi replies, flustered.

"The screen!" Maya Ibuki cries. "It's showing… it's showing…"

"Seas of Dirac spontaneously opening at random intervals all over the world," says Ritsuko.

"Damn it Seele! Damn you all!" exclaims a desperate Gendo Ikari. "While the last Angel is still alive? Damn you!"

"Instrumentality error, instrumentality error," a robotic voice repeats in Terminal Dogma. Shinji watches in horror as an inky shadow expands underneath, enveloping and sucking Eva-01, as well as the collapsed Eva-02, into its grasp.

Above in room 303, Asuka Langley Soryu is pulled from her slumber by the mess of sirens and screams. However, her consciousness remains tiptoeing the fragile borderline between sleep and wakefulness. In the confusion, a vision of her beloved Eva-02 hovers above her head. Slowly, her eyes widen and fill with disbelief as her Eva, the source of her pride and joy, appears to sink into a bottomless pit of darkness. Something she has hoped she would set foot in once again, even after her synchronisation ratio with it has dropped to 10% and Kaworu was ordered to replace her.

A shriek resounds throughout the room, deep into the dark sea below. "My Eva!" And while Asuka cannot see or feel it, her limbs are somehow dissolving into this same shadow. She passes out from the shock, and the rest…

* * *

"You are brave soldiers," proclaims Commander Erwin Smith, leader of the Survey Corps, as he looks on at the few who chose to remain. "You have my heartfelt respect."

Suddenly, a boom is heard in the distance. Erwin and the graduates quickly turn to look in the direction to see smoke rising.

"Don't tell me it's a Titan that fell with a meteorite," says Connie Springer.

"Deploy forces in the direction of the smoke immediately!" Erwin orders.

The Survey Corps uncover something they've never seen before – two gigantic humanoids, one purple in colour and the other red, almost as tall as the Colossal Titan, seemingly having come out of nowhere. However, they are immobile and non-sentient, and are assessed not to be immediate threats. They are not Titans, as they have retained their form for an extended amount of time, whereas Titans rot into skeletons – then nothing – very soon after death. Within the "hand" of the purple humanoid, the Survey Corps recover a boy with grey hair about the same age as the graduates. A dark brown-haired, slightly younger boy is found inside a cylindrical structure within its head. Two girls about his age, one with red hair and the other with blue, are found atop the red humanoid. The four children are unconscious, but their breathing remains regular and their pulses strong. The Survey Corps are ordered to take them into custody.

"I cannot _believe_ this Captain Levi!" Hange Zoë exclaims, completely unable to hide her excitement as she dances around. "We actually get to look at something other than Titans! Maybe even… _do experiments on them_? W-ow! I am _blessed_! Yip-yip-hooray! Ya-hoo…"

"Calm down, we do not yet know of their dangers," Levi replies stoically. "However, in the best-case scenario, we are also yet to know of how they can benefit us."


	2. Chapter 1: The Children Awake

Shinji, Asuka, Rei and Kaworu awake to find themselves chained in a dark cell. Through the bars, they see a man with towering stature, stern blue eyes below neatly trimmed blonde hair. Next to him is another man, smaller but more formidable-looking, a wicked undercut of black hair framing a stare that looks like it could kill.

It is Shinji who first breaks the silence, nudging Asuka next to him tentatively, his voice trembling as he speaks. "Wh… what is… going on?"

Asuka seems startled and blasts off immediately. "Anta baka?! How the hell do I know?" She coughs, before coming to her senses, realising that she probably should not act so brash in front of the two mysterious men.

The small and scary man turns his head towards his tall companion. "They appear to speak a language known as Japanese," he says. "With the exception of the very loud redhead, they appear to be of the Oriental clan."

"Do we know anybody within our league who may be capable of assisting in communication with them?" asks the blonde man.

The short man bows his head in consideration. "Mikasa Ackerman," he utters under his breath. "Top graduate of the 104th Training Corps. She is half-Oriental, and from what I know, she is a fluent bilingual."

The blonde man turns to one side to give an order. "Bring Mikasa Ackerman here."

"You speak German?" Asuka blurts out in her mother tongue after overhearing the men's conversation. "I can understand you! You can't hide nothing from me! Who are you and why are we here?"

The men freeze for a moment, surprised, before the shorter of the two speaks again. "Well, seems like this shall be easier than we thought, Erwin."

Mikasa soon arrives, introducing herself to the four captives in Japanese. "My name is Mikasa Ackerman, and I shall be your interpreter."

"We don't need you! I can interpret too!" Asuka cries. "Don't think you're any better than me! Just tell us who you guys are and what we're chained up in here for!"

Mikasa is unmoved. "Your name please," she asks calmly.

"Asuka," the redhead answers with a grunt. "Asuka Langley Soryu."

Mikasa records the information on a sheet of paper in both Latin and Katakana script, before moving onto the unnerved Shinji. "And yours?"

"I-Ikari… Ikari Shinji… desu!" Shinji's voice shakes as he replies.

"Anta baka?" Asuka nudges Shinji forcefully. "In Germany you say your first name first! Get it together!" She switches to German, speaking to the men. "Is that right, weirdos? That's what you do here in Germany right?"

"What's a Germany?" the short scary man turns to the one he called Erwin, curious.

"Shinji Ikari," Mikasa utters before writing down the words and moving on. "Your name?"

Kaworu looks Mikasa in the eye, still confused, but manages to answer in the correct fashion. "Kaworu Nagisa."

"Surname Nagisa, correct? Next. Your name, please?"

"My name is Rei Ayanami," the blue-haired girl responds in perfect German, leaving everyone in the room stunned for a moment, including her three companions, who then recall her reading sophisticated German books about biology at Nerv Headquarters.

"Alright," Mikasa finishes writing up the information before turning to Erwin, switching to German. "Commander Erwin, I shall continue to assist in communication with the captives in the days to come. May I-"

"And another thing!" Asuka suddenly interrupts, also in German. "Where are our Evas? What the hell have you done to our Evas?"

"Evas?" the two men and the girl turn towards her, puzzled.

"Our Evangelions!" Asuka continues. "The… the big robots that we have the luck of piloting! The red one is mine and the purple one is that baka Shinji's! I bet none of you bakas could even comprehend such a thing!"

A look of sudden realisation grows on the captors' faces. Erwin proceeds to approach the bars. "Asuka, is it? The existence of your Evangelions are currently under our authority, but don't worry. We won't do a thing to alter, let alone harm them. Please explain this to your friends."

Asuka wants to retaliate, but is stunned when her gaze travels past Erwin and meets with the stare of his terrifying companion.

"Yes, you and your Evangelions," he utters with an ever-so-creepy tone. "We may have some use for you. However, in order to do so, we must keep your existences sheltered from anyone outside the Survey Corps." He then turns toward Mikasa. "Otherwise, the four of you may end up in the same situation as that poor sod Eren Jaeger."

Upon hearing that name, the calm Mikasa suddenly grows sour. "And you're one to talk!" she roars. "You may be my superior, but I'll never forget what you did to Eren."

"Enough, Mikasa, you are dismissed," Erwin commands, before Mikasa reluctantly leaves. "It seems as if we're done for the night, Captain. Let's leave them to the guards for now."

Erwin leads the way out the door. The small man follows, but not before turning to the four captives one last time. "You may call me Levi," he says. " _Levi heichou_. You can thank that Mikasa girl for teaching me this."

"But what about… what about food? What do we eat?" Asuka yells, still a little startled. "I'm hungry as hell and I'm sure everyone else here is! Maybe except that doll Rei!"

"The guards will bring you bread and water in due time," Levi replies. "If you need the bathroom, tell them and they'll help you."

Levi exits the room, shutting the door behind him, leaving it even dimmer than before. Asuka sits in the dark, still grunting out of anger. Shinji is quietly shaking from fear and confusion. Rei remains silent and immobile with her head down, as does Kaworu, who seems to be deep in thought.


	3. Chapter 2: Trust

"Members of the Survey Corps, may I introduce you to the foreign captives we recovered a week ago," Commander Erwin Smith announces. "Their names are Shinji Ikari, Asuka Langley Soryu, Rei Ayanami, and Kaworu Nagisa. They claim to hail from a world outside of this one, and claim to hold the key to a powerful force unknown to this world, regarded by themselves as the Evangelions."

"Out of this world?" Sasha Blouse trembles with uncertainty. "Could they be… even more dangerous than the Titans?"

The crowd is rife with conversation. "Who are they?" "Evangelions?" "How could we trust them?" "What if they're dangerous?"

"Silence!" Captain Levi steps onto the stage, standing himself next to a scared-frozen Shinji. "I have already told them this, and I will promise you this as well – should any of them attempt to harm any of us, I will not hesitate to kill them right away. For what it's worth, they appear to be ordinary humans just like the rest of us. Without the Evangelions, they pose no threat – at least no more dangerous than Eren Jaeger."

"Your task is to help them assimilate into life here – especially the two who do not speak our tongue," says Erwin. "Also, we ought to keep their existences a secret within the Survey Corps. Should anybody here fail to keep their mouths shut about this to outsiders, Captain Levi here shall execute you without mercy."

The crowd once again bursts with talk. "Our Commander would kill _us_ over these strangers?" "Who possess a power we have no idea about?" "What the hell is going on?"

* * *

Asuka sits in a corner sulking during lunch. "Bread and boiled potato? How do these people fight 10-metre-tall giants on this awful diet?" she thinks to herself, recalling what Mikasa has told her. "And they don't even have TV. How boring it is that we ended up in such a world."

Raising her head, she sees a scene that she would mock in any situation back in her own world. Shinji has been kicked to the floor by a boy with a buzzcut. "Connie… please… you stop…" Shinji pleads in poor German, panting.

"Don't kick him too hard Connie!" Sasha stands nearby, tears running down her cheeks. "What if you activate some part that turns him into a Titan?"

Reiner Braun joins in on terrorising the poor boy. "Who the fuck do you think you are, that our Commander and Captain can kill one of us over one of you?" he bellows. "We even deferred our mission to find a route back to Shiganshina for three months to deal with you lot! Let this be a lesson, Oriental boy!"

Just before Reiner flings his fist onto Shinji's face, his arm is stopped mid-air. He turns to see Rei Ayanami holding his arm.

"What do you think _you're_ doing?!" Reiner growls, trying to struggle free like a berserk Eva but to no avail.

"Captain Levi can kill you if you dare lay a finger on us!" Connie yells.

Asuka cannot stand this commotion any longer. "Enough!" her voice joins the voices of Mikasa Ackerman and Jean Kirschtein as they all run towards the scene.

"You've gone too far!" yells Jean. "Captain Levi has already promised to protect us!"

"Let us deal with them," Mikasa says, helping up the injured Shinji. "Are you okay, Shinji-kun?" she asks in Japanese.

"I… I'm fine," replies Shinji. "Thank you very much, Ackerman-san."

"Just Mikasa is fine."

* * *

After settling Asuka and Rei in a dormitory within the women's wing, Mikasa leads Shinji and Kaworu to their new residence. Commander Erwin and Captain Levi have assessed the foreigners as safe to live among public space. "You are assigned a room with the boy you learnt about earlier," Mikasa explains. "The one who can transform into a Titan. Eren Jaeger."

Shinji looks surprised. A question arises in his head. A burning question that he must ask.

"Mikasa," he says.

"Yes?" replies Mikasa, stopping in her steps.

"Why do you trust us so much?"

"What do you mean?"

"The others… Connie, Reiner, Sasha, they don't trust us. They even hurt us because of it, but… I understand why. You've been living with the Titans' threat all your lives, and from what I heard, I imagine they're pretty scary."

"And?"

"I mean… it's absolutely normal to imagine us as an even greater threat, what with our Evas… our gigantic robots, right? So, why do you help us? Why do you have trust in us… at all?"

Mikasa bows her head, trying to think of the best answer. She recalls the moment she witnessed Eren emerging from a Titan's neck. The time herself, Eren and Armin Arlert were cornered by the military and almost killed with a cannon. The time Eren lifted the boulder and sealed the gate at Trost. The words of the Military Police and the Wallists when they called for Eren's execution.

"Because I know what can happen when humans cannot trust," she replies, looking Shinji in the eye. "I know what can happen when humans are ruled by fear. Commander Erwin and Captain Levi both know it too."

Shinji is stunned as Mikasa continues to speak. "They deny the possibilities for a better future. Eren is my family, and he would be dead if the ones with the most fear had the most power – yet he is our greatest hope."

"It only makes their enemies happy," Kaworu adds. "If humans cannot trust their allies."

Mikasa opens the door, greeting Eren in German. "Eren, here are your new roommates that I told you about. The ones we recovered along with the giant robots."

Eren looks towards Shinji, then Kaworu, large green eyes meeting dark red ones. Kaworu is shocked by this sensation almost like déjà vu. That same feeling that touched his heart when he knew he was born to meet Shinji. His ending up in this universe is nothing more than an accident, a mistake. Yet he feels the same about this boy who also possesses superhuman powers, this Eren Jaeger.

"Kon-nichi… wa?" Eren mumbles in an attempt to greet the foreigners in their mother tongue. "Is that right, Mikasa?"

"I hope you get along," Mikasa replies, stepping out of the door. "By the way, Shinji-kun, Kaworu-kun – your German lessons begin tomorrow morning. Asuka and I will be your teachers, seeing as Rei is unwilling."

Mikasa closes the door, leaving the three now-roommates alone. Kaworu suddenly opens the door again, as if he just remembered something important. "Stay here, Shinji," he says before rushing out of the room, chasing Mikasa down the corridor.

The truth is, he could not trust himself. Not even after Mikasa's speech about trust, not even after what he said himself. Despite everything, he is still an Angel, and he certainly does not see himself as an ally to humanity. He does not want to hurt one more person he cares about, let alone a whole other world of innocent Lilin, already facing a threat other than himself. Back at the Terminal Dogma, he has already made the decision to let Lilin live on, as Lilin are the ones who deserve to. He needs to tell Mikasa the truth – that he is something which must be destroyed.

"Mikasa!" he shouts.

"Kaworu-kun?" Mikasa turns to see Kaworu with his smile replaced with a stern expression, but his eyes filled with sincerity all the same.

"You must destroy me. I am a danger to your people's existence."

Mikasa turns around, blades at her waist but with no intention to draw. "Why?"

"You cannot trust me, Mikasa. I am different from you as well as Shinji-kun and the others. You must destroy me or you will be destroyed."

Mikasa, though startled for a moment, keeps her cool. "Explain, why should we not trust you?" she asks sternly. "Eren is also different from the rest of us, and we trust him with all of humanity. So, why must we destroy you? Why must we not trust you?"

Kaworu tries to answer, but finds that he cannot give a justification which makes sense. At the Terminal Dogma, he mistook Lilith for Adam because he could also sense Adam in the vicinity – in fact, he has been able to sense that all his life, no matter where on the globe Seele took him. However, in this universe, though he knows that it is the same planet, he cannot sense the existence of Adam or any Adam-type organism. He was taught that with each action occurring in a universe, down to movements at the atomic level, a number of "multiverses" are spawned according to the number of possible outcomes a particular action can lead to. While the multiverse he hails from is one where Adam's White Moon and Lilith's Black Moon accidentally landed on the same planet, this is a multiverse where only a Lilith-type Seed of Life has landed. As Angels are driven by instinct and he is an Angel, he has a natural urge to merge with a Seed of Life, whether it be an Adam or Lilith-type, both resulting in large-scale destruction of Lilith-based lifeforms. However, with his Angelic soul within a Lilin body, directed by a central nervous system that grants him a high level of self-control, he is in no danger of acting upon this urge at all unless physically near a Seed. This is why he requested Shinji to destroy him – he knew that if Shinji didn't, he would be unable to control himself. Based on his senses, the Black Moon containing Lilith is far, far away from where he stands.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, Mikasa, and you're right. Do you still trust me?"

"I do. So now, I must request this of you – please don't breach my trust."

"I won't, I promise. Please believe me."

Kaworu smiles knowingly to Mikasa as she walks down the corridor, but not before she smiles back at him, so gentle and rare on her usually cold, emotionless face.

"Trust me, Mikasa," Kaworu speaks silently in his heart as he watches Mikasa move away, her figure illuminated by the warm colours of sunset. "And trust me, Shinji-kun – and Eren, too. I will not hurt you, and I will not break my promise."

Heading back towards his room, Kaworu's certainty only grows stronger. Perhaps this is not a mistake at all. Perhaps this is how it is meant to be. A world where an Angel like himself and Lilin can exist side-by-side as each other's allies, and neither of them must be destroyed.


	4. Chapter 3: A Different World and Battle

The members of the Survey Corps are awestruck by how quickly Kaworu has mastered the German language within a month's time. He no longer requires Mikasa, Asuka or Rei to interpret for him, easily involving himself in casual conversation with other Survey Corps members. It's a different story with Shinji; Asuka still constantly taunts him during lessons for not being able to differentiate _der_ , _die_ and _das_. Mikasa often has to stop her from going too far.

In fact, Kaworu's warm personality has made him quite popular in the community, even among the likes of Connie, Sasha and Reiner, who once deeply feared the foreigners. He often helps out around the Survey Corps Headquarters, earning him the respect of the Corps' highest superiors. This has also made the Corps much less hostile towards Shinji, Asuka and Rei.

"Everybody likes him," remarks Petra Ral, one of the Corps' greatest Titan killers. "Such a kind soul, this Kaworu Nagisa kid."

"Mhmm, very book-smart too," Eld Jinn, her fellow Special Operations Squad member, nods in agreement. "Street-smart not so much. He didn't see anything awkward about that time he went in the wrong bathroom."

"There's something special about him," says Mikasa, who has been overseeing the new members cleaning up the yard with them. "He once told me that he is different, like Eren, and that we shouldn't trust him – but I felt like he deserves to be trusted anyway."

"And that's why I've got my eyes set on him," Levi's low voice sounds from behind as he seemingly appears out of nowhere.

Mikasa is slightly distraught by Levi's sudden presence. "Don't you dare tell me you want to use either him or Eren in some awful way."

"And don't you dare speak to your superior this way, Mikasa Ackerman!" Petra yells.

Mikasa walks away, and sees Eren, Armin, Kaworu and Shinji feeding the horses, laughter coming from the scene from time to time. It is Eren that Kaworu has become especially close to. Perhaps it is what they have in common – Kaworu being an Angel and Eren being a Titan shifter, which sets them apart from the rest of humanity – that binds them with a connection unlike any other.

With gladness filling her heart, knowing of this special connection between someone she considers family and another person as wonderful as he is, Mikasa turns a corner to inspect behind the stables with a smile on her face. Only to find Asuka curled up and weeping.

"What's the matter?" Mikasa hurries to sit by Asuka's side, letting Asuka lean on her shoulder for comfort.

"My Eva! I still can't pilot my Eva!" Asuka cries, drumming her fists on Mikasa. "What have you people done to it, Mikasa? I know about the Titans and how scary they can be, and if I can't fight Angels, I want to fight Titans! I can easily do that with my Eva! But how can I fight people-eating giants without my Eva? How?!"

"You… you want to fight Titans?" Mikasa asks in disbelief.

Eren, Armin, Kaworu and Shinji rush behind the stable, having heard the commotion.

"If I can't fight Titans, I'm useless in this world, right?" Asuka continues her tantrum. "I don't want to be useless! I don't!"

"Asuka, listen-" Shinji reaches out to Asuka, only to be met with yet another "anta baka? What do you know baka Shinji?"

"Listen to Shinji!" says Mikasa, wiping away Asuka's tears while trying to calm her down. "Shinji-kun, what do you have to say?"

"I mean, Asuka… all these people have been fighting Titans for years, and they never had Evas, right? We can still fight Titans if we don't have our Evas – that's what I wanted to say."

Asuka looks up through her tears. "Really? I… I can fight Titans… without my Eva? I can still… fight them?"

"Would you like to commence Military training, Asuka?" Mikasa asks, this time in German so that her friends Eren and Armin can hear this. "This is a serious decision. You must be willing to endure a lot and face a lot of danger."

Coming to her senses, Asuka slowly lifts herself off the ground. A new look of determination fills her eyes and voice. "Yes, I would. I have defeated Angels bigger than my Eva, taller than these walls trapping humanity. I can do anything!"

The four boys and Mikasa look surprised by this unexpected show of strength. Suddenly, Asuka turns towards Shinji and Kaworu, regaining her arrogant, high-pitched tone. "What about you, baka Shinji? And you, Shinji's boyfriend?"

Shinji blushes, his lips moving but no words coming out. But Kaworu is indifferent to Asuka's "boyfriend" comment, placing his hand on Shinji's shoulder, smiling tenderly. "Why not, Shinji-kun? I'll do it too!"

"I guess… yes! Yes, I will… join the army… I mean uhh… Military!" Shinji replies, correcting his pose to be more upright, as if his training has already begun.

"I guess a baka like you would get swallowed by a Titan right away," Asuka rolls her eyes in disdain.

"Me too," a voice appears out of nowhere. The four boys and two girls turn around to find Rei standing behind them.

"Me too," she says. "I will fight with you."

* * *

"What a plot twist," says Levi, twirling wine in his bottle. "Those four are now training to join us. This is _much_ easier than I expected."

"Joining _us_? Not necessarily, Levi," says Erwin. "They may well choose to join the Garrison. They can just lie and say they're from any village within Wall Rose."

"That redhead, she specifically said she wants to kill Titans, right? Although it seems the other girl and the grey-haired boy are much more suited to it. What a shame they must train in secret."

The Commander and the Captain look on at the scene of Kaworu and Rei effortlessly gliding around the Headquarters in their 3D manoeuvre gear, slicing at the dummy Titans' necks with perfect aim, while the members of the Survey Corps gaze in awe. "Amazing!" "They didn't even take _two months_ to get to our level?" "I took three years to get this good!"

"Hmm, two months since we found them, one month and three weeks since we began their training, one week before our expedition to find a route to Shiganshina and Eren Jaeger's basement. What do you think, Commander? Do we take them with us?"

"Such talent is incredibly rare, but such is why we deploy your squad on the most dangerous missions. We must protect them at all costs."

An order rings from above. "Cut the lifelines!"

The lines keeping the boy and girl anchored snap, but they shift their weight so perfectly that they make safe and graceful landings despite that.

"Their lifelines… cut?" Sasha stares in shock. "I… I would not be able to land like that… if it happened to me…"

"Me… me… neither…" Connie stutters, his eyes wide open.

"Passed the test perfectly, didn't we, Rei?" Kaworu glances at Rei with a smirk.

Meanwhile, Asuka and Shinji hang upside-down in their own gear, unable to move one bit. Tears stream down Asuka's face as she mutters under her breath. "I really am useless… I really am… at least I'm doing better than that baka Shinji… but still… I can't fight Titans like this… I'm useless…"

* * *

The night before the Survey Corps depart for the 57th expedition beyond the wall, Commander Erwin has gathered all members to make a special announcement. "We have recognised Kaworu Nagisa and Rei Ayanami as elite soldiers. They will join us on tomorrow's expedition."

Asuka sits in the back row, sulking with Shinji beside her – before she hears the words which put a gleam in her eyes:

"A special team led by Hange Zoë will stay behind with Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Soryu. They will work on reactivating the Evangelions while we are gone."


	5. Chapter 3a: The Piano

The red, heavy sky glazes the land after a day's classes and practice. Shinji and Mikasa walk around, enjoying the scenery, when a melodic hum resonates from the other side of the courtyard. The two look up to see Kaworu's profile, contoured and painted by the dusk. Memories come rushing back into Shinji's mind.

"The first time I saw Kaworu, it was at dusk as well. He was humming this same tune. Nothing has changed him since we got here…"

"Shinji-kun, you're trying to say…?"

"Honestly, I think it's amazing how he can… maintain _who he is_. On the other hand, I've changed a lot. Back then, there was a part of me that thought I could kill him-"

Seeing Mikasa's stunned look and realising the magnitude of what she doesn't know, Shinji quickly "corrects" himself. "Beat him up, you know, like in a fight! It's a joke!"

"Hey Shinji!" Armin jumps out of nowhere. "Do you think you can teach me a few more Japanese words?" He glances snarkily at Mikasa. "I keep asking Mikasa but she never wants to!"

Mikasa sighs as she follows Shinji and Armin to the common room, while Kaworu descends the stairs. He heard something beautiful down there. He follows the sound down the corridor, and sees Captain Levi playing the piano in a dust-covered room. Levi notices Kaworu looking at him, and gestures him to enter through the open door.

"You like playing this, huh?" Kaworu asks.

"Yeah, and you?"

"Absolutely. It's just about humanity's greatest achievement, music."

"It reminds us that we're still alive, Kaworu. I hate pointless deaths, and if my death shall be a pointless one, I'd like to fill my life with such a reminder before it happens."

"Even after death, even after the deaths of many generations, a song can be remembered."

Kaworu sits and proceeds to play. Eren, on his way to see the Captain, is lured by the sound as Kaworu was lured by Levi's. For a few moments, he simply stares at the piano, at Kaworu, dumbfounded, before Levi catches him.

"Anything you'd like to say to me?" Levi asks the Titan shifter. "Or him?"

Completely forgetting his original query, Eren runs towards the piano. "Kaworu! Can you please teach me how to play?"

"No problem," Kaworu replies as he gestures Eren to sit beside him. "It's easy. All it takes is practice."

* * *

Kaworu is pleasantly surprised by how fast Eren has learnt, as are Shinji, Asuka and Armin, peeking into the lesson from behind the door.

" _Sugoi!_ " Shinji and Armin gasp in unison.

"I bet _you_ could never get to this level, baka Shinji!" Asuka whispers.

"Hey! I play the cello, don't you remember?"

In the room, Kaworu has completely let go of the need to instruct his student. Pinpointing technical errors is no longer crucial; he now listens with his soul. He feels deeply within it that Eren Jaeger truly channels the rage and passion of Lilin through his playing. He now understands a new element of the beings he has been ever curious about, one which far exceeds his expectations in terms of strength and intensity.

Kaworu cannot help but express such feelings in human words at the end of Eren's song. "That was fantastic, Eren Jaeger. I must say, you're more talented at the piano than I am at acquiring the German language."

"I should thank you for offering to teach, Kaworu!" Eren replies, the smile on his face clearly grateful. "And… I'm glad you think so of me. I'm still nowhere near as good as you."

"Oh no, you shouldn't say this, Eren. Every human is great in their own way."

"Y…yes, every… human!" Eren blushes. Though uneasy at the mention of the word, he feels glee that he can still be recognised as such.

"And truly, Eren, it should surprise any average human that you are able to learn so fast."

"Hahah… and it should surprise anyone that you've learnt German so fast! I wonder how you do it."

"Well, you see, I grew up around speakers of many languages. German was one of them. I suppose the bits and pieces I overheard helped."

Kaworu pauses, attempting to stop the floodgates of his memories opening, resulting in silence filling in for a moment.

"To be honest, I'm sorry you're here… I mean, you must have had a great life, back in your world." Eren speaks again, his words surprising Kaworu a little. "My parents never even thought about teaching me anything like this, you see. To have been taught to such an expert level, you must have had people in your life who really valued you and… treated you well."

 _Treated you well. Treated you well. Treated you well._

The words encircle Kaworu's brain before puncturing down into his soul, retrieving the memories ever since the soul of Adam was salvaged into a Lilin body. _Treated me well? Have they really?_

He recalls a member of Seele standing on his neck, as words like "enemy", "threat", "abomination" were thrown at him – he only had the body of a child then. He recalls knowing from the very start that his existence is a danger incompatible with humanity, that he existed only to be used, so much that he began truly believing it. He recalls being blamed for the deaths of 2 billion people, even though it was humans initiating contact with Adam that triggered the Second Impact, something Adam cannot control – yet he was made to carry the guilt anyway. As a child, he was incessantly curious about language, having pleaded for Keel Lorenz to teach him the language Seele operated in, only bringing him more abuse. He sneaked into Keel's music rooms, combining his Angelic and Lilin instincts to teach himself his favourite human invention. He grew up faster through all the trauma – the greatest trauma ever inflicted upon Adam's soul in 4 billion years of existence – and so learnt to put on the façade of being a perfect man. Even so, a part of him was sinister enough to reclaim Earth at the cost of all of humanity, before the realisation that Lilith and not Adam was on the cross. Yet now that he has interacted with members of Lilin who are much kinder, who respect and value him, he finds that part of himself less comprehensible with every passing day. Through Shinji, through Eren, through everyone – he has confirmed that his choice at the Terminal Dogma was correct, although it is a choice he no longer needs to make, and he can live on with the ones he loves and cherishes.

"I'm sorry, Kaworu!" the Angel is taken out of his thoughts when a panicked Eren rushes to shake his shoulder, seeing him being out of it. "Did I say something wrong?"

* * *

The members of the Survey Corps seat side by side in the courtyard. A concert has been organised tonight to brighten up everyone's spirits; Eren and Shinji's piano and cello duet is featuring as the centrepiece.

"Music is great," says Kaworu.

"I agree," says Mikasa.

"Me too!" says Armin.

"The cello must be the only thing that baka is any good at," says Asuka.

"I'm looking forward to this," says Rei.

The curtains are drawn and the music begins. Kaworu shuts his eyes, once again losing his soul in the sound. It is in no danger of actually being lost, however, as the anchor of his soul is now stronger than it has ever been.


	6. Chapter 4: The Female Titan

Donning their signature Wings of Freedom capes, the Survey Corps make their way out of Wall Rose as the town watches on.

A stern expression is on everybody's faces except Kaworu's, riding with a smile despite many lessons taught to him about the Titans' monstrosity.

"Kaworu, aren't you afraid?" asks a curious Armin Arlert, who rides beside the young Angel.

"It would be a long story if I explain," Kaworu replies as nonchalantly as ever. "I'll tell you when I get back, Armin. I think we have to go our own ways soon, to ensure that the Commander's plan works."

"I wonder where Eren is in the formation," says Armin. "They never taught us that."

"I wonder that too… wherever the best place it is for someone to transform into a Titan I suppose."

It isn't long before Kaworu sees Titans for the first time, but he is unfazed, even as the Survey Corps leave the support squad's protection and spread out into the Commander's formation on open grass. _There has only been red smoke so far, so no Abnormal sighted yet, huh? If I keep up to speed, they can't get me – and even if they do, I can use my Angelic powers. I just don't want to have to show these Lilin what I'm capable of now._

"Ka-Kaworu, are you not scared?" Sasha asks, her face scrunched up out of fear.

"Just follow me, Sasha! I'll protect you!"

A blast of black smoke shoots up in the distance. "An Abnormal!" Sasha shrieks.

"Ooh, I sure want to see one," Kaworu says with the usual glee in his voice. "Wait, isn't that coming from… Armin's direction?"

Before Sasha notices, Kaworu has changed direction and is headed towards the direction of the black smoke. "Waaaaait!" she screams. "You're not allowed to change the Commander's formation like this! Don't leave me alone! KAWORUUUUU!"

* * *

Armin lies on the ground motionless, his face-down and his eyes shut. His companions, Dita Ness and Luke Siss, were effortlessly killed by the 14-metre-tall Titan standing over him right now. An Abnormal Titan bearing the appearance of a woman, who is intelligent to the point that she knows to protect the vulnerable point at the nape of her neck. A Titan piloted by a human, like Eren. Something too powerful for him to defeat. He does not want to see his own death with his eyes as well.

The Female Titan picks Armin up by his hood, and Armin couldn't help but open his eyes to an enormous blue eye staring back at him from behind a strand of blonde hair. Armin's mind races as his heart pounds. _Is she looking at my face? Why?_

To Armin's surprise, the Female Titan drops him to the ground and runs away. Still confused, Reiner Braun arrives, telling Armin to get back on his horse. He is still out of it until the two meet up with Jean Kirschtein, by when his head is clear enough to explain his theories to his teammates. As the group travels on, Jean devises a plan to catch up with the Female Titan and cut the tendon on her foot, but the plan does not seem to go so well since the Female Titan is inexplicably smart, dodging Jean's attempts multiple times. Eventually, Armin and Jean are left watching in horror as she reaches at Reiner to grab him with her fist, when it suddenly stops moving in mid-air.

Reiner makes a swift landing, puzzled as to how he escaped, before noticing Kaworu standing nearby. A series of transparent octagonal patterns radiate from his body, seemingly acting like a force field that the Titan cannot penetrate. The Titan roars as if frustrated, and promptly runs away.

"Ka-Kaworu?!" the trio exclaim in unison. "What was that?"

"I can explain when we get back onto the horses" is Kaworu's reply, his smile ever so bright.

"That's… that's if we _have_ enough horses!" Jean cries, looking around to see only two standing, the other two having gotten away in the mess of the battle.

"Well, it's no problem for me, but we better fire a signal anyway." Kaworu raises his flare gun, blasting purple into the sky.

* * *

A considerable amount of time has passed, but Armin, Jean and Reiner are still stunned by Kaworu's explanation of the A.T. Field. "To be honest, I really didn't want to reveal it this early," he tells them. "I did what I have to do – to save a life. Such is Lilin – if you don't help each other, you lose, no?"

"Excuse me, what do you mean by Lilin? Is that a Japanese word?" Armin asks, but before Kaworu has an opportunity to answer, he is interrupted by Krista Lenz's voice announcing that she has brought them horses. Although Jean and Reiner are both captivated by Krista's godly beauty, her attention is on Kaworu completely, expressing her admiration regarding how quickly he learns things.

"That bastard, I don't care if he's special." Reiner grunts. "If he steals my future wife, I'm gonna beat the crap out of him."

"The ladies are all over him even after that time he went into the wrong bathroom," Jean adds. "What the hell?"

"We have no time to waste," says Kaworu as he gets back on his horse. "The Female Titan seems to be after Eren."

"How do you know?" Armin exclaims. "I think so too!"

"Now is not the time to think through the mechanics! Ah, such is Lilin…" Kaworu trails off, already far away from the rest in a flash.

"Wait, Kaworu!" Armin yells, desperately trying to catch up. "You haven't explained what a Lilin is yet! What's a Lilin?"


	7. Chapter 5: Forest of Giant Trees

Kaworu and his crew arrive at the Forest of Giant Trees, where the new members from the 104th Training Corps await atop the trees. This way, they can stay safe as the Titans cannot climb to the trees' unusually enormous heights, while also preventing the Titans from following Levi's Special Squad into the forest. "Welcome!" Connie Springer greets his fellow soldiers. "This is the safest place for us newbies to be – although we have no idea what the Commander is doing or what he wants. Ugggh I wanna go home…"

Sasha Blouse yawns, sitting with her back against a tree trunk. "I'm hungry…"

Kaworu hops onto a branch near Rei, still silent and expressionless. "Tadaima (I'm home!)" he announces cheerfully in his native Japanese.

Mikasa glances at him from the branch above before replying coldly. "Okaerinasai (welcome back.)"

"Geez, these two are like a couple!" Jean jokes.

"Nuh-uh, I think Kaworu and Rei are more like a couple – bloody red eyes and all!" Reiner disagrees, giggling all the same.

"Nah, more like _you_ and Rei," Jean retaliates. "Rei… Reiner… _Rei_ ner… dontcha geddit?"

"No way Kirscheiße, I'm marrying Krista, ya scheiße-for-brains."

"Excuse me?" says Ymir. "If you don't shut your mouths, boys – I'll make Braunschtein a thing."

"Whaaaaaaa…"

Among the chatting and laughter, Armin thinks that his opportunity has finally come. "Kaworu!" he leans over to the Angel and whispers, determined to fulfill his curiosity this time. "Can you pretty pwease tell me what you mean by a Lil-"

 _BOOM!_ The sound of cannons resonates from deep within the forest, awaking Sasha from her nap and prompting her to scream. The soldiers barely catch it in the corner of their eyes as Rei suddenly jumps off her branch, making her way into the forest.

Kaworu hops off his, taking a step in Rei's direction. "What are you doing, Rei?" he exclaims. "Where are you going?"

"Maybe you should follow her, Kaworu," Armin suggests, recalling how Kaworu saved his friends and his lecture about A.T. Fields. "You probably won't be in danger because of your A.T… I mean, you're friends with her, right? So you know her better than we do?"

"Roger!" Kaworu answers as he disappears between the trees, leaving the rest of the soldiers stunned.

"Armin, what the heck were you suggesting?" Jean snaps. "It's dangerous for one soldier to go on their own, let alone two! We can't afford unnecessary casualties!"

"I… I didn't think he'd actually do it…"

* * *

Deep in the forest, Kaworu finally catches up to Rei. "What's the matter, going off so recklessly on your own?" he asks.

"Because I sense it," Rei replies. "Death."

The scent of blood fills the air. Kaworu notices dismembered bodies scattered around. "This is bad," he whispers to himself, before seeing in front of him the giant he recently stopped from killing his comrades.

Kaworu watches in shock as Rei activates her A.T. Field without hesitation, first stopping the Female Titan's attack on Eld Jinn, then Petra Ral, then Oluo Bozado. All while using her 3D gear to navigate herself around the Titan's body, attempting to uncover her vulnerable spot. Kaworu readies himself to join, but somehow, something is stopping him from activating his own A.T. Field. Instead, he manoeuvres up above the Titan, protected by nothing but his blades. As he nears Rei mid-air, Rei speaks to him. "I'll attack her at her neck, you distract her. This is a command."

"Roger!" Kaworu dashes down and back around, trying to garner the Titan's attention, while wondering why he is still reluctant to activate his A.T. Field. Before long, Rei has placed herself on top of the Titan's nape while the Titan's hands were busy dealing with Kaworu and the others. The Titan hardens her skin predictably, but it is shattered into shards as Rei erodes it with her A.T. Field. The Titan kneels, tears rolling down her cheeks.

The team gazes in astonishment for a while, before cheering the blue-haired soldier on. "Now's your chance, Rei!" "Finish her right here right now!" "Smash that blade in!"

However, Rei seems to be frozen with her arms and blades high above her head. Tears of her own land onto the Titan's soft skin below.

"Come on, Rei…" Kaworu mutters, clenching his fists.

Rei's lips do not move, but Kaworu hears her voice in his mind. "I can't… I'm sorry… I can't do this…"

Unfortunately, it seems that the Titan could hear those words too. She suddenly gets back up on her feet, throwing Rei violently onto the ground. "Rei!" the crew members exclaim in anguish as they rush to check on her, but are flicked away by the Titan's fingers. This is when Kaworu witnesses a scene he could never have imagined: as Rei makes a last-ditch attempt to defend herself with the A.T. Field, the Titan is producing an A.T. Field of her own, eroding into Rei's. Worries flood into Kaworu's mind: since Rei possesses only a fractured portion of Lilith's soul, she can only sustain an A.T. Field for a certain length of time before it weakens and falls apart. Also, the fact that a Titan can learn the workings of this almost ethereal concept so quickly shows that Titans are unlike ordinary Lilith-based lifeforms. Against something like this, Rei is almost sure to meet her demise soon.

"Save her!" Eld commands as he, Petra and Oluo begin attacking the Titan from all angles. During the commotion, Kaworu rushes in and rescues Rei onto a nearby branch. "Why, Rei?" he asks the shaking girl drawing shallow breaths. "Why did you…"

"I can't… I can't kill…" she mumbles. "Kaworu… please… promise me… help… save them…" She collapses and falls unconscious.

"Roger." Kaworu stands up, ready to charge into battle, but his body remains immobile as he watches the ensuing horror. On the other side, someone else is also watching – Eren Jaeger.

Despair occupy Eren's heart as he watches the Female Titan, the one who took so many of his fellow soldiers' lives in cold blood and with ease, takes out the Special Squad members who sworn to protect him. He watches Eld's body snap in half under giant teeth. He watches Petra smashed against a tree under a giant foot. He hears Oluo's bones break in mid-air. Despair turns into rage, and rage into determination, as he rests his teeth onto his hand, ready to bite in, but the Titan seems to know his plan. She approaches him…

Kaworu finds himself alone in a world of white.

Nothing but white light and his own voice and words.

 _Why did I do nothing?_

 _Why did I just stand and watch?_

 _Why didn't I save them?_

 _Why did I let them die?_

 _Why?_

When he opens his eyes again, he notices Eren. His talented student and friend. The one who showed him a new side of music and of humanity. Someone who captivated him, someone he knew he was born to meet.

And now, the Titan is going to do to Eren Jaeger the same things she had done to the others.

Eren is ready to bite down when he is distracted by an explosive burst of light, followed by a shadow – Kaworu's shadow, standing in front of him, octagons emanating from his body, countering and eroding into octagons from the Titan, roaring wilder than ever before dropping to the ground and collapsing.

The Captain and Mikasa arrive just in time to witness the scene. Levi lands on the Titan's back, ready to slice her open. "I want to see who hides within this beast," he utters. "I want to see if that Armin kid is indeed correct."

Kaworu still stands in front of Eren, both panting, the former with his head down, knowing what to expect from the latter.

"Why didn't you save them?" Eren asks, quietly yet chillingly, shaking with anger. "Kaworu Nagisa, if only you showed us what you're capable of earlier, our comrades wouldn't have died. Nobody would have died."

Eren suddenly stands up, his eyes meeting Kaworu's eye level, and Kaworu couldn't help but look up as Eren continues to speak. "You could have saved their lives, Kaworu, but you didn't. You could have saved _so many people_ but you didn't. Therefore… therefore… I hate you."

 _I hate you._

Eren drops to the ground again and begins crying, much to Kaworu's surprise. "And I hate myself too! None of this would have happened had I transformed there and then! I too made the wrong choice! I hate this! I HATE YOU!"

 _I hate you._

 _I hate you._

 _I hate you._

Meanwhile, Levi's image is obscured by the Titan's body heat as he stares at the pilot inside. "Indeed, Armin Arlert... he is right."


	8. Chapter 5a: The Reawakening

"It's so disappointing that I don't get to look at more Titans this time – but guess what? I've got _yooooou_ and your beautiful E-van-ge-li-ons – _riiiight here_ , baby! Isn't that right, Shaun and Anina?" Hange yells so dramatically that it scares Shinji and Asuka frozen.

"It's… Shinji…"

"And today, Sidney and Adara… we're gonna activate those babies! Hoo-ray! Whoopee!"

"It's… it's Asuka!"

"Ooh boy… I just can't wait! Can you, Shimmy and Ashitaka? I bet you can't eith-"

The children can no longer take it. "SHINJI AND ASUKA!" they shriek in unison.

The children, now in their freshly washed plug suits, follow Hange to the underground cell where they see their Evangelions for the first time in months, heavily restrained with ropes and harpoons.

"Grrr, what is this?" Asuka groans. "You know our Evas can't move without us being inside them or a power source, right?"

"We still gotta be careful!" Hange replies as she releases the restraints. "What if they go berserk? Also, what did you say about a power source? We can just hook them up with the gas, no?"

Shinji sighs. "This is hopeless. We were never really taught about the technicalities of the Eva, but I'm fairly sure those tiny bottles wouldn't be enough." He watches in utter disbelief as Hange climbs around on Unit 01, attempting to connect the gas bottles to its charging port. "It's around here, isn't it, Shinji?" she yells. "Ta-da! Now, time for the big red one. Hey Ariel, I think the colour suits you!"

It only took forever for Hange to complete her part of this unreasonable plan. "This well we're in is very, very deep, my dears. Not even an Eva of this size could break out of it, and if it goes berserk, that's what my genius Titan trapper's for! Which one of you wants to get in first?"

"I will!" Asuka puts her hand up, much to Shinji's surprise. "You sure?" he asks.

"Look Shinji, I couldn't even move my Eva before we ended up here. If on the 0.001 percent chance that this works, my Eva wouldn't bring about any destruction. If it doesn't, well, I would just be proving how silly this woman is being!"

The redhead makes her way to Unit 02. "The entry plug's still in there, right? Ach mein Gott I gotta climb up it? What a bother…"

Asuka finally makes her way into the entry plug and has it sealed properly after a long round of struggling and cursing. Back outside, Shinji hears her muffled voice yelling from within. "Is this for real? The LCL filled? Huh? Nerve connection confirmed? Alright then… synchro, start!"

Shinji could not believe that the ensuing moments are happening before his eyes. Neither could Asuka. He watches as Unit 02's eyes glow, as it lifts itself onto its knees, then feet, standing up, its head just short of reaching the well's opening. She watches as the synch ratio meter approaches 20%, 30%, 40%, as nostalgic sensations fill her entire body.

"This is the most amazing thing I have ever discovered in my whole life!" Hange couldn't help but exclaim uncontrollably as tears fall down her cheeks. "Not even the time I found out how Titans are so light… whoa, wait what?!"

Before Hange realises it, Unit 02 has grasped her in one hand and Shinji in the other, whisking them both up into the air. Within the entry plug comes Asuka's declaration of pride as she watches the synch ratio meter hit 100%. "Haha! Yes! I did it!"

Much to their relief, Asuka soon returns them to the ground, carefully and safely. Hange turns to Shinji, wanting to ask if he's okay, but finds him deep in thought.

Shinji is trying to figure out how a mere few bottles of gas can power up something as huge and powerful as the Evangelion. He recalls what he saw at the training sessions. The soldiers moved through 3D space with speed and precision they would not be able to achieve without the gear and the gas. He then recalls what he knows about the Evangelion, which is admittedly very little.

 _The time Unit 01 went defeated the Third Angel on its own after losing contact with Nerv._

 _The time Unit 01 supposedly defeated the Fourteenth Angel after losing power entirely. I don't really remember what happened after losing power, but apparently, it absorbed me and reached 400% synchronisation rate?_

 _The most important thing that drives an Eva is not power, but something else entirely._

 _Synchronisation._

"That's right, synchronisation."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Hange is shocked by the sudden words from the usually quiet boy.

"The most important factor determining an Eva's performance is the pilot's synchronisation with the Eva," Shinji explains. "I don't fully understand it all yet, but the Eva isn't made of what ordinary robots are made of. It depends heavily on the connection it has with the pilot. When the synch ratio is high enough, in a way… the pilot's body becomes the Eva's body. Whatever is enough to power a pilot's body, can then power the Eva as well. I may very well be wrong, but this is the most reasonable explanation I can think of now."

"Wow, Shinji! Your German is perfect now! Asuka, gas is nearly out now so stop your shenanigans!"

"What a bummer, I was just starting to have fun!" Asuka ceases her walking around and touching things, dropping Unit 02 to the ground and reverting to the supine position she saw it in earlier. "At least you got our names right at last. Ugh… now I have to get out of this damn plug thing."

"Yeeeeow!" Hange screams as a jet of orange fluid hits her face. "The liquid from your plug thingy… it's getting everywhere! Oh yuck! Smells like blood!"

Now standing on top of the entry plug, Asuka smiles as sunlight pours through the well onto her face. She feels as if she has not experienced greater joy in her entire life.

 _I can be an Eva pilot again._

 _I can help the people here defeat the Titans, just as I defeated the Angels._

 _Yes, that's right. I can be a soldier._

 _A real soldier, here in this world._

 _Thank you, Unit 02._

* * *

The LCL fills Shinji's lungs with a familiar feeling, the opposite of what he feels under the ceilings of rooms he has never occupied prior.

 _It's comfortable._

Shinji watches the synch ratio approach 100% as an agreeable calmness washes over him. It tells him that he must stay strong, that he must survive and fight, not only for the sake of himself, but for the sake of the entire world. A pure, uninhibited drive to pursue a mission overwhelms him, more than it ever did when he was fighting the Angels, even though he does not understand what that mission is.

 _100%, huh. I can't go over. The last time it did, my body was apparently lost in "quantum form". Come to think of it, what does that even mean?_

 _Never mind, just concentrate on walking, like you always have._

"His steps!" Asuka exclaims. "They're so gentle and steady, so controlled… I've never seen him so in sync before!"

Gradually and tenderly, a vision appears before Shinji's eyes.

Yui Ikari.

 _Mother?_

"This is where you belong now," she says, ever so sweetly. "Where _we_ belong. You must stay and fight."

 _Mother, mother! Mother…_

Without warning, the face of Yui transforms into another similar, familiar face.

 _Ayanami… Rei?_

"I am with you, Shinji Ikari," she says before disappearing.

Down below, Asuka and Hange watch in wonder as Unit 01 stands still, its right index finger writing something in the air.

"What is it?" Hange asks.

" _Haha_? The character for 'mother'?" Asuka utters quietly, her mind lost in her gaze.

Time passes by. Shinji's mind is kicked back into normal state by Hange's call indicating that gas is running out. His synch ratio starts to drop at that very moment, but remains more than enough to safely revert Unit 01 into supine position. He drains the plug, opens the seal and exits like clockwork, a routine of muscle memory he cannot know better.

After emerging from the Eva's neck and sliding off its body, Shinji joins Asuka to hear Hange out on her decisions. "For the moment being, do not inform your peers that our experiment has been successful," Hange explains. "I will discuss relevant matters with the Commander and the Captain before we decide whether it shall be revealed, and to whom."

The scientist suddenly towers over the pilots, her smirk scarier than any Angel. "And if you miss this memo and rat it out before then… Captain Levi will be more than happy to do what he gotta do with those blades of his! The blades that left millions of Titans trembling before their demise!"

"Hmph!" Asuka grunts. "I don't think it was millions. Now I understand why Captain Levi says he's tired of you!"

Hange's eyes grow wide as she begins chasing Asuka around the bottom of the well. "Excuse me young lady? Can you please repeat that? What did that old man say about me…"

The playful voices trail off as the midday sun moves across the sky, shining directly into Shinji's eyes. He seems to see his mother's face in its glow. For a while, Shinji remains still, watching the sun as it approaches the skylight's edge. He then notices how it illuminates the metallic ropes from the Titan trapper, pinned into Unit 01's body.

 _It sure is weird how the restraints cling onto the Eva._

 _Almost as if the Eva is made of… flesh._


	9. Chapter 6: Forgiveness

_Why did I do nothing?_

 _Why did I just stand and watch?_

 _Why didn't I save them?_

 _Why did I let them die?_

 _Why?_

 _Was it because I didn't want them to know I was an Angel?_

 _But even if they do, there is nothing they can do to hurt me in any way. I have too much power for that to happen. More than enough to protect myself._

 _Rei had no qualms using her A.T. Field to save others. Why did I?_

 _Was it because I was afraid of being alienated again?_

 _Because I feared rejection? Am I just like Lilin in this regard?_

 _So why did I let Armin, Jean and Reiner know about it?_

 _Because I trusted them? Because they were Eren's friends?_

 _My soul is a mess._

 _Why?_

Armin knocks on the music room door. "Come in," the Angel answers.

"Has Eren still not spoken to you?" Armin asks.

"Not yet. To be frank, I don't think he ever will again. He requested a room change."

"Oh really… I see. Guess I'll try talking to him about it."

"Thank you, Armin."

"So Lilin means humanity…" Armin wanders upstairs into the courtyard, catching Shinji.

"Aye, I heard Eren asked to switch rooms? Sounds rough."

"Ah, yeah, he's not living with us anymore. How are your injuries, Armin?"

"They're healing well, thanks for asking. It wasn't that bad anyway."

"I heard we lost quite a few of our team on the expedition. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah… I was lucky. Very lucky."

"It must have been terrifying. I wish I could have helped."

Shinji lies down on a patch of grass, gazing at the sky. He has always had an issue with waking up under unfamiliar ceilings. But this is much more than a ceiling – this is the sky of a totally different world. Every time Shinji looks up, he is reminded of this fact. It only adds to the bewilderment in his soul.

"Sorry I wasn't able to help."

"Why do you need to say this?" Armin asks, lying beside him.

Shinji doesn't reply. The two remain staring at the sky together for a while, before Armin breaks the silence. "Say Shinji, do you ever feel like you're a burden, or anything like that?"

Shinji is startled by how well Armin seems to understand him. A dash of worry strikes his mind. "I suppose you can say that… what do you mean, Armin? Am I a burden to you all, being here?"

"Absolutely not – in fact, I must assure you that it isn't the case."

A spark lights up in Shinji's eye as Armin speaks. "You know, Shinji, I once thought the same of myself. Then I realised it was all in my head, and my friends never thought that way at all. Eren, Mikasa – they protect me and support me because they love me, not because they have to. And I do the same for them."

"I'm happy you have friends like them, Armin. I think most people back in my world liked me because I piloted the Eva. When I was a pilot, they admired and respected me. I think that was the only reason."

"Hmm… but aren't there people who like and respect you not because you piloted the Eva, but because you're, you know, you?"

Armin falls silent before speaking again. "Kaworu Nagisa? Kaworu-kun likes you for you, right?"

Shinji freezes, but Armin could see a smile growing on his face as he replies. "That's true. I don't think I've ever had kinder words from anyone else. Kaworu… I'd like to believe his love for me is without condition."

"Well, I figured that as long as you have one person in your life who values you, then you have value in this world. Even if that person is yourself."

"You think so, Armin?"

"And you're not by yourself in this world, Shinji. You know what – I've never seen you pilot an Eva, or even what an Eva looks like, but I reckon you're pretty rad!"

Shinji's smile grows brighter. "Thank you, Armin. I wish I could fight alongside with you one day. Sorry that I couldn't help because my 3D gear skills are, eh…"

"Come on, Shinji! There's no need to be sorry for anything at all! Everybody has different talents and can contribute in their own unique ways. I'm far from the strongest fighter, and I'm pretty slow, but I'm good at analysing things. I finished top 10 in my class due to that, and the Commander and Captain appreciate me for it."

"You were the one who figured out the Female Titan was Annie… Leonhart, is that her name? What a surprise, someone who graduated with you… I wonder how you did it, Armin."

"Well, firstly, her fighting style…"

Shinji has to politely shut Armin up after ten minutes of sophisticated German blabbering. "Uh… you wanted to talk to Eren, right?"

"Ah, that's right! Before I go, can I ask you one thing – does Lilin mean humanity in Japanese?"

"Nah, that's just Kaworu's funny way of saying it. Because we're supposedly the 'Children of Lilith' – that's what he told me."

"Children of Lilith? Geez, what a weird guy."

* * *

Eren hears a knock on his dormitory door. "It's me, Armin!"

"Come in."

Armin opens the door to find a forlorn childhood friend, his hair a mess and his skin covered in grime.

"Geez Eren, how many days have you gone without bathing? Are you still out of it?" Armin goes up to shake Eren's shoulders. "I know you're grieving Eren, we all are, but we're soldiers alright? We can't afford to be out of it for so long! Especially not you!"

Eren sighs. "How do you expect me to get over it, Armin? You weren't there, you don't understand. It was my fault. If only I had acted differently back there, they wouldn't have died."

Armin calms himself before taking a seat and grasping Eren's hand, steadying him. "Listen Eren, now is not the time to blame yourself. Eld, Petra, Oluo, the others – they're gone now, and the past cannot be changed. What we must do now is look forward. That's the only way we can avenge them, and I'm sure that's what they want us to do."

Eren's sighs turn into sobs, tears filling his eyes. Certain that he is breaking down the barriers of Eren's ego (or A.T. Field as Kaworu put it), there is nothing else Armin could do but keep talking. "Plus, nobody knows how things could turn out. Do you remember the multiverse theory that Kaworu told us about at dinner?"

Hearing Kaworu's name, Eren looks up, right into Armin's eyes through the fog of his tears.

"Each action has a number of different possible outcomes, but we only ever see one of them. We don't know how things may have happened differently, had you chosen to act differently. Even if you transformed into a Titan there and then, it would not necessarily have saved them."

Armin could feel Eren's hand shake.

"Unfortunately, being human, we're limited by that. So please forgive yourself, Eren! The past is the past!"

"You're right, Armin…" Eren mumbles, his sobbing growing stronger.

"That's all I have to say, Eren." Armin stands up and pushes the chair in, walking out of the room, only to find Kaworu standing in the corridor.

"You're just in time, Kaworu-kun. Now would be a good chance to speak to him."

* * *

 _Nobody knows how things could turn out._

The words ring through Eren's head, right until the moment he looks up to see Kaworu standing in front of him, as tall and strong as the moment the Angel protected him from the Titan. Losing control, Eren's sobbing turns into loud, unbridled crying as he plunges into Kaworu's open arms.

"Sorry, Eren," Kaworu whispers as he rests his chin in Eren's hair. "I gave in to my own weakness and fear. I could have saved them, but I didn't."

"No!" Eren screams. "Nobody knows what could have happened! I understand now… if you were to blame, so was I! If I can be forgiven, then so can you! I should be the one asking for your forgiveness Kaworu! I'm sorry for taking it out on you!"

The Titan shifter weeps in the Angel's embrace until he is out of breath, falling silent. The sunset, once again painting the land, also paints the two of them as it shines through the window.

"Do you forgive me, Eren?" the Angel asks tentatively as the first stars appear in the evening sky.

"Of course," comes the Titan shifter's reply. "Of course I do."

Eren moves closer into Kaworu's arms, just as Kaworu plants a gentle kiss on his forehead. He looks up with flushed cheeks and his first smile in many days.

"I want to play more songs together, Kaworu. Songs dedicated to our friends. Songs for everyone in the Survey Corps. Songs for humanity."

"Me too, Eren. I want to play more songs, too. With you."


	10. Chapter 6a: The Apple

"ACH MEIN GOTT!" Sasha screams, darting towards an unsuspecting Kaworu. "Your friend Shinji invented a totally new way of cooking potatoes and it's _delicious_!"

An awestruck crowd is gathered around Shinji as he explains the method. "You cut them into strips, like this… and then, you add oil, and… fries, I believe they're called."

"We cook potato in so many different ways back in our world!" Asuka proclaims loudly. "Crisps, fritters, hash browns, tater tots, you name it! Can't believe you bakas needed Shinji to even learn about fries!"

"Oh, Kaworu!" Eren greets the Angel after hurriedly swallowing his last bite. "I think this might just be my new favourite food!"

"I'm glad you like it," Kaworu replies, collecting fries onto his plate.

Eren takes another mouthful in. "What's your favourite food, Kaworu?" he asks, still munching.

"Mmm, I think it might be apples. Come to think of it, we don't get a lot of fruit or vegetables around here. Times must be hard."

Granted, Kaworu was not given the best feed by Seele, but vegetables were a regular occurrence on the dinner plate. He was allowed fruit once a week, no more. The one time he was caught with an apple he was not supposed to be eating, he was given the worst punishment he has ever received. So horrid that his brain refuses to remember a single detail. But he remembers the sweetness of the apple, how it tempted him, so sweet it was perhaps worth whatever punishment it bestowed upon him. Here, potato and cabbage comprise most of the vegetables feeding the Survey Corps, the carrot being an odd fancy. As for fruit, he only ever saw the tiniest, scraggiest pears, and there were never enough for every soldier, so he always gave up the opportunity for others. On the two occasions the Corps got hold of some citrus fruits, the first time oranges and the second time lemons, they opted to flavour the communal potato stew pot so that everybody can have a taste.

"Congratulations on being promoted to Head Chef, Shinji-kun!" Armin is ecstatic as he wraps his arm around Shinji. "Where are you going now?"

"To see Rei. I heard she finally woke up. Wanna come with?"

The two head to the medical room, smiling as they greet the girl who just awoke from coma. They simply sit and watch the sunset together for a while, enjoying this rare moment of peace and quiet before Rei breaks the silence. "What do you want to talk about?" she asks in her usual cool, calm voice.

"Well, I wonder where the others from our world have ended up," Shinji says. "I wonder where Misato is. I wonder where my father is. Hopefully not in a world where monsters eat people."

* * *

Meanwhile, the members of Nerv are lucky to have fallen into an alternate timeline where the Second Impact never happened, in a prosperous mid-2010s Tokyo – about the same era it was back in their world. However, the city is infested by ghouls – human-like beings who can only eat human flesh to survive. Fortunately, most of the senior Nerv members – namely Misato Katsuragi, Ritsuko Akagi, Gendo Ikari, Kozo Fuyutsuki, Maya Ibuki, Shigeru Aoba, Makoto Hyuga – have found employment at the Commission of Counter Ghoul (CCG) due to their excellent scientific aptitude. Well-trained in combat, Misato even became a frontline Ghoul Investigator. Tonight, she is to undertake her first mission, targeting a white-haired ghoul known as "Eye Patch". As she heads out and sees the stars reflect on her brand new quinque, she wonders about Shinji and the other Children. "Wherever you happen to be, Shinji, I hope it isn't somewhere humans fear getting eaten."

* * *

In the courtyard, Kaworu is taking a leisurely stroll after dinner. _Maybe I'll get some coffee with extra sugar for dessert_ , he thinks to himself. _I'd like to stay up and practise my reading and writing, now that I'm confident at speaking German._

"Kaworu!"

He is interrupted by a sudden yell. "Eren?"

He turns around to Eren smiling at him, before noticing what he holds in his palms. An apple, though not the biggest, bright red and perfectly round.

"It's for you, Kaworu!" Eren announces.

"Thank you, Eren." Kaworu reaches out tentatively, still shocked. As he holds Eren's gift to him in his own hand and gazes at it, a smile lights up on his face.

 _Is this gratefulness? Yes, this is gratefulness. Really, thank you, Eren._

"Are you going to eat it?" asks Eren.

Kaworu looks up, beholding Eren in his sparkling green eyes, still smiling. "Of course, but not before I share it with you."


	11. Chapter 7: Revelations

It has been a week since the Survey Corps returned from the 57th expedition. Kaworu and Rei await decisions from the higher-ups regarding how they shall be dealt with as beings who possess a "supernatural ability".

Deep down, Kaworu has already made his own decision.

"It can't be too bad! I mean, they still let you live in public space, so…" says a flustered Eren. He tries to keep calm, but anxiety over the fate of someone he loves isn't exactly easy to combat.

"Still, I must be prepared for the worst. I've been ready for a long time, anyway. If they decide that I must go, I wouldn't resist. Your people deserve to live."

Rage suddenly erupts from within Eren as he screams hysterically at the Angel. "No, you can't let it end just like that! Why must you run away, Kaworu?! You have to fight! Fight to prove your existence worthy just like I did! I never gave up so you can't! You can't!"

Outside the dormitory, Shinji watches and listens, the impressions in his heart shattering. To him, Kaworu has always been an idealised friend. Shinji knows that if he becomes perfect, if he becomes the version of himself that he truly wants to be, that person would be exactly like Kaworu. Until now, little did he realise that Kaworu is so much like his imperfect self, someone who constantly feels the need to run away.

 _Now that I think about it, when Kaworu asked me to destroy him, it was him expressing a desire to run away from life itself, a death wish._

 _He is doing the same thing now._

 _But wait._

 _Unlike myself, Kaworu does not do so for self-centred reasons, but for the sake of others._

 _He is someone who would gladly give up his own life to ensure the survival of humanity, the survival of beings unrelated to him, beings who are supposed to be his enemies. He "runs away" because his consideration for others is above his will to live. He is truly selfless, perhaps more than any human could ever be._

 _Perhaps_ too _selfless that he cannot be perfect. Not yet._

"Why are you stuck in this mindset, Kaworu?" Eren's outburst continues. "Why do you still think that you have to go, just because you're different? Why do you think this is the only way?!"

The words seem to touch Kaworu's soul, changing him. Outside, Shinji is cheering on this change. _That's right, Eren! You're exactly the kind of person Kaworu needs!_

A blue flash appears and disappears before Shinji's eyes. The next moment, he sees Rei Ayanami in the dormitory, dragging Kaworu out of the room by the hand. "Hey, Ayanami, this is the men's dorm-" Shinji yells, but the two are already far down the hallway.

* * *

"Hey, slow down," says Kaworu. "You aren't fully recovered yet, you shouldn't be pulling these big movements."

"Then walk," replies Rei. "Faster."

Before long, the two arrive in the medical room where Rei has been staying. Shutting the door, Rei gestures Kaworu to sit at the bed, before sitting herself next to him. He has never expected that they would be having a serious conversation, right now, here in this world.

"So, Ayanami, is this about… our fate? What they are going to do with us?" Kaworu asks, trying to maintain a confident ambience, but his lips are shaking.

Rei's reply surprises him. "No – this is about you."

Kaworu simply stares as Rei utters every word in her cold, monotonous, articulate voice. "You have accepted that the Children of Adam and the Children of Lilith are equal in terms of value, their worth of existing in the universe. So, why do you still refuse to accept that we are not that different fundamentally? Why is it that you still fail to realise how much we are the same?"

Rei stands up, facing Kaworu, their eyes interlocking for the first time since their encounter at Nerv.

"You have always observed humanity from an outsider's perspective, never acknowledging yourself as one of them. You view the pain in human hearts as something which is not your own. However, this is exactly where your confusion comes from. The pain of loneliness, the pain of not belonging, this is something we all share."

The words hit Kaworu like needles pressed into just the right spots. Deep down, he has always known this, but for some reason, he tried his best to deny it. Perhaps it was the trauma of childhood. Perhaps it was the 4 billion years of isolation prior to that. Perhaps it is something deeply flawed within him that all beings are cursed with. He may be an Angel, but he is not a God. It would not make sense for Gods to create beings as powerful and perfect as themselves.

"Until you recognise this pain as your own, you cannot deal with it. Until you deal with this pain, it will stay with you. Tell me, Nagisa, what is it that you truly feel right now?"

"I fear being viewed as a threat again, Ayanami," the words escape Kaworu's lips as if by hypnosis. "Tell me, please, tell me that we're not threats."

"No, we are," Rei replies as coolly as ever. "Of course we are threats. Nobody would even consider bringing us down if we are not. Because by being threats, we essentially have power."

"Yes, I know that, but…"

"Power that we can decide how to use. Remember the story of Eren Jaeger."

The girl stares deeper into the boy's eyes, sensing something stir within him upon the name's mention.

"What do you want to use your power for? What do you want to be a threat to… Adam?"

"Lilith…?"

 _Yes, that's right. We are not having a conversation as Kaworu Nagisa and Rei Ayanami. We are having a conversation as Adam and Lilith._

 _Right now, what is Lilith trying to tell me, Adam, the being diametrically opposed to her, the being responsible for her Children's destruction, the being whose Children sought to return to my Angelic body with no regard for her Children? The being who is basically a threat to her and hers?_

 _What do I want to be a threat to?_

 _That's a good question. I don't want to be a threat to Lilin's hope, friendship, happiness._

 _What she is implying is that a threat isn't necessarily a bad thing, right?_

 _The story of Eren Jaeger? Indeed, he used his power to become a Titan and sealed a wall, bringing Lilin to its first victory here. Even though Titans are the threat Lilin struggles against._

 _I always thought that it was ridiculous for Lilin to create beings like myself to defeat my Children, and yet…_

 _Right. A threat to bad things themselves… such a threat can actually be a good thing!_

 _I can be a threat to old, outdated ways of thinking and acting. A threat to beliefs that promote hurting the vulnerable and hinder unity. A threat to the barriers that keep people from understanding and embracing each other. A threat to evil, not to good._

 _Yes... that's what I want to be!_

Lilith smiles upon reading Adam's thoughts. "You've let go of that pain a little, haven't you?"

Adam smiles upon seeing hers. "Thank you, Lilith," he says, the same gratefulness he felt when his beloved Eren Jaeger brought him his favourite food overwhelming him.

Satisfied, Lilith gets up to exit the room, now as the Survey Corps soldier Rei Ayanami. She is stopped by Kaworu Nagisa's request.

"If you wish to refer to me as an Angel from now on – please call me Tabris instead, okay?"

Rei nods, leaving Tabris with his thoughts.

 _That's right. I do not wish to reclaim the name that has sent a world to the edge of destruction. I wish to reclaim the name that has been a symbol of my abuse, my suffering, my pain that isn't unlike Lilin's. My Angelic pain. My Human pain._

 _Because I want nothing more than to rise above it._

* * *

Survey Corps soldier Kaworu Nagisa stands before Commander Erwin Smith and Captain Levi Ackerman, confident with his proposal. "I would like my status as an Angel to be reported to Commander Dot Pixis. Proving my worth and loyalty to the Survey Corps is not enough – a secret can only be kept for so long. I wish to prove my worth and loyalty to humanity to all of humanity. I am prepared for the outcome should humanity decide I must die, but I desire the opportunity to fight for my life and existence – just like Eren Jaeger did."

"Dot Pixis, huh?" Levi's eyes grow. "You're in luck, kid – he would definitely want you to live."


	12. Chapter 8: Fear, Loathing, Power

Upon returning to her dormitory, Asuka finds Mikasa looking out the window with a frown on her face. "What's the matter?" asks Asuka. "You sure look worried."

"Mind you, I really am," replies Mikasa. "Asuka, have you heard about the Wall Cult, or the Wallists?"

"Can't say I have. Sounds like a bunch of irrelevant weirdos. Care to explain?"

"They have an irrational, fanatic belief in the sanctity of the Walls – Maria, Rose, and Sheena. I'm certain you've heard about my brother Eren Jaeger transforming into a Titan to seal Wall Rose. This is why they hate him, and why I'm afraid that they're after him."

"You mean those mad conspiracy theorists are going to come here? To take him? No way!"

"You'd be optimistic to expect them to take him alive, Asuka. Those people cannot stand anyone who dares to challenge their beliefs existing. They would want to kill him."

* * *

Kaworu and Shinji are awoken in the middle of the night by a loud rustle. They open their eyes to a shadow striking past and out the now wide-open window. As their eyes adjust to the dark, they notice that Eren's bed is empty. With his sharp instincts telling him that something is wrong, Kaworu leaps out of the window immediately, only to smell blood in the air and see the corpses of fellow Survey Corps soldiers strewn around, along with corpses wearing unfamiliar, mysterious capes. He turns a corner to see more familiar faces in battle in the moonlight – Mikasa, Levi, and many others. As the Captain takes out another caped enemy, he notices Kaworu and speaks to him. "Go, Nagisa – follow the man who took Eren Jaeger, and bring him back to me."

"E-Eren? What happened to Eren? Where is he?"

"Use that pea-brain of yours and think. If you can produce an A.T. Field, surely you can track a mere human down."

Not quite understanding the logic, Kaworu hops up and flies through the air gearless, following his instinct as his A.T. Field shields him from the caped soldiers' attacks. Thankfully, his instinct proves correct. Strategically, he expands his A.T. Field above and in front of Eren's captor to prevent escape, until he forces the mysterious figure into a secluded corner. Now, Kaworu can see that Eren is unconscious in his captor's arm, his head bruised blue and scars marking his face and limbs. The captor rips off his mask, revealing an aged face, a grey beard, and eyes that one can tell are full of rage and hatred.

Certainly, rage and hatred are what Kaworu feels for this man right now, stronger than ever before, yet he manages to remain decently calm. "Explain yourself – who are you? Why are you doing this?"

The Angel's civility is not matched by the man, whose ensuing lecture is almost roaring in tone. " _You_ are the ones who must explain yourselves! Our taxes feed you and clothe you, and what do you do? You house the spawn of the devil. You spoil our mortal enemy like a royal after it breaches the sanctity of our walls, of our most sacred line of defence! You have seen what can become of this filthy monster, yet you are foolish enough to lead yourselves down the path of suicide!"

The words press into Kaworu's brain as he tries to repress flashbacks of Seele's abuse. He is almost glad that Eren cannot hear those cruel words. Despite the turmoil within, Kaworu immediately realises that this is a member of the Wall Cult that Levi told him about, and that rational communication with someone holding such an irrational position is unlikely.

He decides to try anyway. "The walls were built by the hands of humans," he begins. "If you insist that humanity can never be greater than those walls, you only hold humanity down. The foolish ones are you, not us."

The words seem to send Eren's captor into an even angrier frenzy. "No! You! You are the fools!" his livid cries pierce the night sky. "You sicken me! How dare you degrade the walls – and how dare you defend this monster! The plan was to give it the long torturous death it deserves, but thanks to you I suppose I must end it now!"

Kaworu watches in horror as the man draws a dagger from his waist and raises it up into the moonlight, before it comes crashing down into Eren's face.

At the same moment, Eren awakes from concussion, half-opening his eyes to see a sharp blade rushing right into his vision.

Blood. Silence.

* * *

Kaworu opens his eyes again, not recalling how long they have been shut for. All he hears is his own heavy breathing, and all he sees is Eren staring up at him in a pool of blood, and an old, grey man next to him. Dead.

"Ka-Kaworu?" Eren breaks the quiet. "Are you okay?"

"Eren…"

"Hey uh, thanks! I think you saved me… I thought I was going to die!"

"…Eren…"

"Huh? Kaworu? Are you okay?"

"…"

"Oh, I promise you it isn't as bad as it looks. I can still walk! I'll walk you back if you need."

Kaworu pulls the bloodied dagger out of the man's chest and wipes off the carnage, slowly, almost as if in a dream. All he could think about is that he has killed. For the first time in this world. Not a Titan, but a person, a human being. No matter how vile and evil that person may have been, Adam has once again caused the death of Lilith's child, the last time through inaction and now through action.

The sight of more blood and carnage back at the courtyard does not help. Kaworu can only helplessly watch as Eren stares on, as horrified as himself.

"They died for me," Eren mutters as he falls to his knees, tears streaming out. "They died… to protect me…" Kaworu wishes he could find the strength and words to reassure, but silence indicates his failure.

As his eyes scan the battlefield, he catches an unexpected sight: Rei. He looks on in disbelief as she withdraws a dagger from a body and cleans off the blood, no emotion on her face. He couldn't help but abandon Eren and walk up to her as the question burns in his heart.

"I came to apologise, Lilith, for I have killed one of your children," he says. "And you? Did you…"

"We both did what had to be done, _Tabris_."

"I understand, but Lilith… are they not your children?"

Rei pauses to attend to yet another bloodied weapon before replying as calmly as ever. "They _were_ my children. They stopped being my children when they began willing to hurt other children of mine for the sake of their beliefs; when they allowed their fear to become toxic and drive them into divisiveness and othering, when they let their fear become loathing."

"Lilith…"

"Do you still not understand, Tabris? Had you not acted, you would have actually allowed one of my children to be killed."

"That… that much is true. I understand."

Lilith walks up to Tabris, locking eyes with him.

"I understand how you feel, Tabris. What about you? Do you understand how I feel? Killing hurts me as much as it hurts you. Do you understand the pain of seeing your children turn against one another, the pain of seeing humans become worse enemies of other humans than any monster can ever be?"

Tabris continues looking Lilith in the eye, trying to stay strong enough to face her. Though he cannot fully empathise yet, he understands that she is correct. Too often, the most dangerous enemy is not among the other, but among oneselves. It is true of both Angels and Lilin. He recalls how Eren once said to him that in this world, Titans are not their only enemies.

Remembering Eren, Tabris intends to walk away, but Lilith continues to speak. "I want to say thank you, Tabris. It was because of you that I realised my true identity as Lilith, and thus my true power. This power means a difficult set of responsibilities, and it means making hard decisions which may not always be correct, but I am thankful. You have the same power, Tabris – please understand that."

Rei walks away, leaving Kaworu standing in the middle of the mess, his mind even messier but finding its way to clarity.

 _Yes, I have the power._

 _The power to kill. Did I use it correctly?_

 _I can't undo what's been done now. But I did save Eren, didn't I?_

 _And who did I kill? A person who allowed their fear to become toxic._

 _A person whose existence is driven by fear and loathing._

 _A person whose seeing another as a monster led himself to become a monster._

 _And who would he have killed? Eren. Someone I love._

 _A person whose existence is driven by courage and hope, and the desire for justice._

Feeling that further thinking would be a waste of time, Kaworu rushes over to Eren. He doesn't know if he would always make the right decisions about how to use his power in the future, but he will always try to. For now, he wants to use his power to help Eren become again the happy, kind, passionate boy he is supposed to be.


	13. Chapter 9: The Real Danger

Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps sits opposite Commander Dot Pixis of the Garrison in a dark room, sunlit from but a single tiny window. Their faces tense as they proceed to discuss the situation.

"The fact that the Wallists were after the Survey Corps shows that you are indeed in a dire position," Pixis begins. "Considering their heavy involvement in the Royal Government, the Government itself would have their eyes set on you."

Erwin sips his bitter black coffee before replying, showing no surprise. "I have always known this, Sir Pixis. I would never, ever trust these people to prioritise the preservation and advancement of humanity over maintaining their own wealth and power."

Dot Pixis nods in agreement. "The real danger we face may not be the Titans at all. Other people may be our greatest enemy."

"Anyway, Sir Pixis – the true reason I wish to talk to you is regarding two of the four foreign captives under our custody, who have become our soldiers following display of excellent physical abilities. Their names are Kaworu Nagisa and Rei Ayanami."

"Please, do give me further information."

"Their companions, Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Soryu, claim that the four of them hail from a completely different universe. Soryu and Ayanami are female, Nagisa and Ikari male; all four are 14 to 15 years of age. While Soryu bears Eldian appearance, Ikari, Nagisa and Ayanami appear to hail from the Oriental, or Asian clan. It is worth noting that Nagisa's physical characteristics suggest he may have Eldian blood. While Soryu and Ayanami are near-native speakers of our tongue, Nagisa has shown exceptional talent in mastering the language since his arrival."

Dot Pixis seems unwavering in his interest. "Please, Erwin Smith, do continue."

"Yes. The most fascinating – and perhaps controversial – aspect of Nagisa and Ayanami's condition is that they hold a superhuman ability, which vastly differs from Eren Jaeger's superhuman ability of Titan-shifting. They are able to generate and sustain what we can only call 'force fields', referred to by Nagisa himself as A.T. Fields. They manifest as barriers seemingly not conjured of any physical material, but of pure will. In previous experiments, it has been demonstrated that their A.T. Fields block all our weaponry, including the heaviest of our cannonballs. Nagisa can sustain A.T. Fields with ease for extended periods; Ayanami, though capable of generating stronger A.T. Fields, succumbs to exhaustion after a short time."

"Oh, would you please hang on – you subjected those delightful young people to such experiments, putting their lives at risk?"

"We were initially reluctant, but they reassured us that they would be fine. What Nagisa wishes me to tell you is that he is, in fact, a kind of non-human being – he has claimed that he and Ayanami are 'Angels', but different types. While he is an 'Adam-type Angel', Ayanami is a 'Lilith-type Angel' and supposedly the progenitor of all human life, which makes humans 'Lilith-type' lifeforms. According to the laws of the 'First Ancestral Race' – laws of the gods, if you will – Adam-type and Lilith-type lifeforms are not meant to co-exist."

"Alright, Erwin, just know that I do not understand half of what you just said. This brain is getting old for sure."

"I understand this may be confusing. To simplify, it is evident that both Nagisa and Ayanami are not ordinary humans – perhaps Nagisa less so, depending on how you think. The important thing is that they have both sworn to use their powers for the good of humanity."

"Well, well… what are your plans, young Commander?"

"Our ultimate goal is to retrieve the contents of the basement of Eren Jaeger's old home, which is why we have been planning a route to Shiganshina. There, we may discover hidden truths about the nature of the Titans, and perhaps of humanity itself. We have lost many soldiers to our last expedition and the Wallist attack, but small numbers may actually be advantageous when combined with use of the A.T. Field. The plan is to have Nagisa and Ayanami taking turns shielding our team from Titan attacks via their A.T. Fields. However…"

"However?"

"However, Nagisa has reported that during his encounter with the Female Titan, he observed her generating an A.T. Field of her own. Reports from all four captives agree that the only way for an A.T. Field to be penetrated is via another, stronger A.T. Field. Since the Female Titan was capable of doing so, we must not rule out that it may apply to other abnormals. An interesting thing that Nagisa mentioned was that all sentient beings possess A.T. Fields, as they are apparently the barriers that separate one individual's ego from another, but only 'Angels' like himself and Ayanami have the strength to manifest them physically."

"Funny that. Can you imagine if our egos were all mashed up together? We'd be slushed up like goo or something!"

"This brings us to our next point – the Evangelions."

"The Eva-what-what?"

"Along with the foreign captives, we seized two large human-shaped vehicles, slightly under the size of the Colossal Titan. The captives referred to them as the Evangelions; Ikari and Soryu claim to be their pilots. Hange Zoë communicated to me that during her experiment with Ikari and Soryu, both Evangelions were successfully activated, powered only by a regular amount of gas. According to the captives, Evangelions were built for the purpose of combating Angels who sought to reclaim their world from humanity. They produce A.T. Fields to do so, and they can also utilise many forms of long, mid and close-range combat."

"Well, we better hope they don't go berserk and run around like an abnormal!"

"So… you approve?" a look of surprise appears on Erwin's face for the first time in this day. "I would not have thought it to be this easy."

Dot Pixis laughs, ever so jolly yet relaxed. "You know me. I trusted a boy who literally turned into a damn Titan! Ha ha… you go ahead with whatever genius plan you have, with those Angels and the Eva-what-have-you's. Don't forget the real danger at hand, though – we've got to deal with our own kin first 'n' foremost. Flesh and blood humans, aye!"

The door creaks, and light suddenly rushes into the room along with a Survey Corps soldier, panting heavily as he speaks. "Commander Erwin, we have a dire situation! Wall Rose… Wall Rose has been breached! There are Titans… Titans within Wall Rose!"

"A breach of Wall Rose?" Erwin shoots up, his eyes narrowing at the unbelievable news.

"Yes… and we have soldiers there, without equipment!"


End file.
